Second try on Chemo treatment #5 of 6

I thought I was nervous last week. I am so much more anxious this week. What if We have to wait another week. I am so sick of these treatments. I want them done and over with.   I want to put this part of my life in the background.

Anyway, we got to the Hulston Center on time, went in to get blood drawn and they told me that today's visit will be a little different. NO doctor visit this time, Just straight back to get the needle put in my arm, they will do blood draw then go immediatley into the infusion.  Awesome, that means a bit shorter of a day and we can get home before it gets dark this time.

Well, that didn't go as planned. Poor girl came in the get me set up with the Needle and tubing and my veins had shrunk so much so that she tried on one, it blew, then she tried on another and it blew. SO, she called the ultra sound tech to come get a needle in me deeper. That was an experience, that unfortunately most likely I will have to do again next week. Chemo apparantly shrinks your vein.  If I remember correctly my friend Linda warned me of this.  She is 2 years cancer free at this point and her's still haven't recovered.   Anyway, that needle she put in went in half an inch into my tiny skinny arm. That HURT, I mean it was horrible.   I have got to see how I can improve that experience for next time. My blood word did show that i was dehydrated and I know why. I have been drinking way too much Soda / pop. Several cans a week, I didn't see the harm in just one to two cans a day. BOY was I wrong.  Gotta go back to saving it for special occasions and get back to drinking strickly water and electrolytes.

anyway, it took another hour after she got my line put in, before the pharmacy released the meds (Chemo meds) for me.  We got out of there at like 4: 30, it was great, we ususally got out after 6pm, stop to eat dinner and got home just before 9pm.   I digress, the infusion went well, except, I got super tired immediately, Got up twice to hit the bathroom, each time feeling harder and harder, just way too weak. Travis helped me and ended up having to go in with me to help me sit and get back up again. Just no strength. 

We decided to just go home since I was still full from lunch.  He went out and got me sandwich from Jimmy Johns sub shop. MMM, my fav.

We headed straight home. All that evening after we left I had no energy and my legs felt like bricks. They hurt / ached pretty bad as well. The rest of the night travis had to help me walk, he helped me shower and he practically lifted me into bed.

It is now 5:48 AM April 8th.

My legs are doing better, I can walk on my own, but the exhaustion is horribly bad again today so far. Need to restrict myself to 2 cups of coffee in the mornings and get straight back to drinking water and electrolytes, double my vitamin B12 and ginseng to gain some energy back. and aparently I need to cut back on Salt. UGH. Fine, Salt is the only thing that makes stuff taste better. Don't get me wrong, My blood pressure is great, it's not that, it just shows that my levels are too high for sodium, this just means that if I keep that up, I could end up with high blood pressure and on meds. NOPE. Not gonna let that happen.

NEXT and last infusion ( I PRAY) is on the 28th.. Cross your fingers and pray for me. I want this over with and done so I can heal and move on with my life. Start feeling better and enjoy some more time wth My grandkids, kids and loved ones. You know the drill. I want to get busy. This crap of only getting to sit or lay down because of the exhaustion is driving me nuts.  Bless my hubby Travis' heart, he is doing great, doin his best to take over where I left off, but my house is a disaster. Going on three months and my floors haven't been mopped once, vacuumed only twice.  Sounds disgusting doesn't it.?  It kinda is.   

No one says a word though, cuz, well.  The cancer lady can't do anything about it and if someone was to say something negative, well they would just look like assholes right. lol.    I just wish somone would offer to do a little light cleaning for me. Travis doesn't dust the hour, nor does he clean windows.  Don't get me started on the bathroom. He surface cleans. UGH..  He is NOT lazy, do not get me wrong. He is entirely too busy working several jobs to pay our bills and keep us afloat since I can't work and my dissability hasn't come through yet.  

But we lack in "friends or family" that are willing to help out or CAN help out because they all either have jobs of their own or way too busy themselves.  I am not mad about it. I promise you. I get it. They all have lives and this isn't their job, to tend to me and my house.   Slowly I wll get my house back in order after the treatments are done. Slowly.

What I don't understand is that Everyone says "Just ask".  Well, shit martha, I can't ask. Hubby is too proud and if I ASK, he will be very upset with me. Do I need that right now?  Cancer, going throug Chemo, crying non stop about all that..  Do I need to have my husband pissed at me? NO MA'AM.. I do not.    How about you just SHOW UP, tell me to go for a drive or something, and Just do some light cleaning for me?  lol. Your not stepping on my toes, your doing me a huge favor and by not taking NO for an answer (HUBBY SAYING NO TO YOU). You bully your way into my house by telling my hubby to go away.  Then.. YOU have just made MY day.   Oh well...  I pray god sends me someone to help out. If not, It will get done once I am better.

I am done complaining about crap now..   It's starting took like a beautiful day. I will go out into my Ugly Winterd dead looking garden today, sit in the son and imagine a fully planted and green garden.  Listen to the birds chirping (or the neighbors fighting - which ever appears to be louder  - lol)  and just enjoy the morning.  Not quite warm enough yet though, it's 7 am and still a bit chilly.

I think I will take an hour to work on one of the new books I am Writing.

I am Writing up a Journal for my two eldest Grandchildren. Step by step, interactive journal that teaches them how to write a story of their own.  They have to do all the leg work but I ask all the questions for what comes next in the story and how they can write it, I also give examples (in case they don't know what I am asking). This journal teaches them the layout or a story, as well as the technical words and proper styles to use.  IT's all in there. I am a week in the first write.   After I get it made for them I will sell it to the public.

If anyone is interested in testing it out for me please contact me I will send a free PDF version you can print out and use. I would love the feedback.